There are lots of diets out there. Here’s a new one: The Video Games Diet.
Have you ever played a cool video game for so long that you didn’t notice how hungry you are? Then you know what I’m talking about. The theory behind this diet is that people would rather continue playing a video game than eat a lot of food, like the rodent that pushes the euphoria button instead of the food pellet button.
If you have a job, relationships with people, or anything else that could prevent you from doing anything other than playing video games and sleeping 24/7, then this diet might not be for you.
Questions you may have: Am I being serious? Absolutely yes. But am I also being facetious and/or tongue-in-cheek? Yes. Have I ever tried this diet? No, but man would it be cool. The coolest. Fun video games are the best ever. Here’s how to get started!
1. Find healthy food, like vegetables and whole wheat bread.
2. Get some really fun video games that you could play for hours and hours and hours. Some suggestions: Call of Duty 4, World of Warcraft, any Legend of Zelda game.
3. Put the healthy food, including water bottles, near where you play your video games.
4. Start playing the video games. The rest will happen naturally.
Video games create what Dr. Mihály Csíkszentmihályi would describe as a Flow experience. No challenge = boring, and too much challenge = not fun. But find just the right balance, and you have an engaging, wicked awesome experience that you wish could last forever.
So here’s what should happen: you’ll play the video games until your eyes turn red. You’ll lose track of time, especially if you don’t have windows in the room. At some point, you’ll feel hungry or thirsty. This is when you eat the healthy food and drink the water–they’re close by, so they’re quicker to consume than leaving your video game console to go get something potentially less healthy, like soda or candy.
Eventually you’ll have to use the bathroom. Take these bathroom breaks as an opportunity to step outside for a few minutes and focus your eyes on something farther away than 10 feet from your face. Then go back and play more video games.
Helpful tip: have a generator in your backyard for backup in case your power goes out. It’s expensive, but you can’t put a price on your health.
The more you play, the more you starve. The more you starve, the more of those ugly pounds will be gone forever! Find a way to do 30 minutes of exercise 3 times a week in there somewhere and you’re set for life.